Sometimes, these concerns come from a place of determining my safety. One wrong admission can put me in harm’s way of being attacked, physically or verbally. But at other times, these concerns come from wanting to avoid people projecting stereotypes onto me.
The first step for me was being honest about the traumas that I’d experienced, not only with myself, but with my partner and trusted friends.
If you Google body positive, most of the images show white folks — even the cartoons. When spreading the message of body positivity, we have to be sure that we are including the voices of people of color. As a fat Black woman, this piece for me is very important. When fighting against body terrorism and oppression, we have to address racism and its impact on people’s self-esteem and body image.
It’s hard not to feel hopeless when thinking about the countless others around the world who are experiencing deep and murderous oppression while also living in our own oppression at the same time.
Photo Credit: Charles Krupa/Associated Press At some point last year, I made a conscious…
here are so many stereotypes and societal expectations surrounding beauty and intelligence – expectations that make people believe that a beautiful person cannot be intelligent and that intelligent people aren’t attractive. Growing up, because I was a straight-A student, no one expected me to wear stylish clothes or be attractive in general.
I was a fat, dark-skinned black girl with a kinky hair texture, and if I weren’t smart, I wouldn’t have had much going for me in the eyes of most folks. I felt like the whole world was telling me that, because my body was neither desired nor wanted, my only contribution to society could be through my academic successes.
A picture is worth a thousand words: An old saying that many of us…
Online chat rooms provided spaces in which I felt super comfortable talking to strangers. It wasn’t awkward to start conversations. I could talk to multiple people at the same time. It was easy to find people with similar interests. And ending conversations wasn’t awkward. All I had to do was type g2g.
Si le preguntases a mi madre o a mi novia cuándo hice algo equivocado, te dirán algo como, “Bueno, conociendo a Quita, ella nunca hace nada equivocado”. Pero incluso la Princesa de la Perfección tiene que admitir cuándo se equivoca.
I felt like sex was as great as it could be — until I had an honest conversation with a sexual partner. One night, as we began the process of finding undergarments under bed sheets and putting our clothes back on, they asked, “How was it for you?”